Sometimes....

Sometimes I feel like I can't do enough

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed

Sometimes I feel like I just can't do it all and then

Sometimes I feel like I just don't want to do it at all.

Nathan has been miserable for days, we just found out he has strep throat, I actually thought he had chicken pox because he had all these little skin lesions but it turns out it's part of the strep. Alyssa too has strep and it would appear that my husband Sean now has it too!

Oh yes these are fun times.

Jack and I are fighting it, but I'm feeling worn down.

Sometimes the timing sucks....

My brother and his family arrived from England on Thursday and I feel like I haven't even seen much of them because we've all been working on our own crazy schedules. Them with the jetlag and me with my sick babies.

I am thrilled that they are here visiting, but did everyone have to get sick NOW? Really?

Sometimes I think we have bad luck.

Sometimes I can't cope and I get grumpy.

Sometimes my grumpiness overtakes and I take it out on those I love the most.

Sometimes I wish I could express my sentiments, my feelings and frustrations.

Sometimes I wish my pride wouldn't overtake my need to ask for help.

Sometimes I just don't want to be the one to advocate.

Sometimes I just need to let it go.

Sometimes I need to just rest and not make it all about therapy.

Sometimes I just need to step back,

take a deep breath and just see past the syndrome and the autism.

There's a beautiful child in there.

Sometimes that child surprises you.

Today that child hugged me when I needed it the most.

Sometimes... most times...

I just wish it could be a little easier.

It's a snow day!

Jack and Sean

enjoying a father/son moment in the snow!

Today was Jack's first snow day. The weather forecast called for 2 cm of snow. What we actually got was 15 cm overnight and another 5 cm during the day. Nathan's school was closed and we kept Alyssa home from school today. Sean stayed home too. Road conditions were no good so we played in the snow instead.

Nathan is not a fan of this kind of weather, he doesn't even like it when rain drops hit his head, but he seemed okay going for a short walk in the white stuff. I love the snow, it's beautiful to look at, I just wish dressing three kids to go outside wouldn't take an hour, especially when one of them only wants to stay outside for 15 minutes!!!!

What will tomorrow bring???

Nathan's first EVER visit to the dentist

Okay, so I'm sure you're thinking, "what kind of mother waits four-and-a-half years to take her kid to the dentist?" The answer: a mother who just doesn't want to put her child through any more than he's been through!

I have had so much anxiety build up to this day. Nathan doesn't do well with medical appointments. He screams and whines, grabs at the door to get out before we even see a doctor. Last month I took him to the optometrist for a follow up visit and we couldn't even get his eyes measured because he freaked out. It was a battle just to get him to look at a TV screen for a few seconds. There is no such thing as a smooth appointment with Nathan.

On Sunday, Nathan was not feeling well. He was quite lethargic and not himself. He basically was laying on the floor in a daze. He had no interest in anything- later that night Nathan had a fever. I'm still perplexed by this sudden onset of temperature.

Anyway last night (Monday) Nathan was shaking in his bed and complaining quite loudly. Nothing I could do seemed to comfort him. Sean helped me get him out of bed and then pointed out that Nathan was doing something weird with his soother, indicating that perhaps he had some kind of pain in his mouth. A valid point I thought.

The next morning, I decided it was time to find a paediatric dentist. I made the call and explained the situation. The receptionist was so great, she made me feel at ease and suggested that I come in right away so that they could have a look. I told her I was anxious about how he might react to all this and she reassured me all would be fine. The dentist and staff that work there have seen many children and a good number of them have special needs.

So I thought "what the heck, lets go for it" and two hours later Nathan and I were in the office. I filled out some paper work and then we met the dentist.

The dentist was unbelievable... ( in a good way) He introduced himself to Nathan and then me. He told us everything he was going to do and let Nathan touch all of his tools. He then told me, it's not uncommon for kids with RTS...... Wait a minute.... What???? A dentist who actually knows about RTS!!! As impressed as I was with the dentist, his staff and the entire office set up, my sweet little Nathan surprised me even more!!! Oh lets not get ahead of ourselves, he wasn't happy and he did whine BUT he did lay on me and let the dentist look in his mouth. Once the dentist was done, Nathan just sat on me and waited patiently. I couldn't believe it!!! Nathan's teeth are perfect. No issues at all. We just need to get a good cleaning done so we will go back next month.

After a brief talk with the dentist we went home. I told Nathan that we need to start brushing every night and that the dentist had given us a new toothbrush for him to do that with.

Here's Nathan brushing his teeth for the first time. I'm so impressed with him - seems that the oral aversion is lessening.

Wow - look at the water go down the drain... that sure is interesting!

Mommy is showing me how she brushes - it's kind of funny to watch. I think I might even like the sensation of this brush!

Yup - this feels alright! I think I might be okay with this.

I'm not fighting it, Mom's brushing and it's all good with me.

Look at my Mom! She's so proud of me because I didn't fuss or anything. She helped me brush my teeth for the first time tonight and I didn't get all stressed out!

I love you big boy and I'm super proud of you!